FUR BEACH

All those malcontent dismissing nature's process: please slit your own throats.
Someone needs to drop a giant fucking "L" on this city and hero pressing those tiny adorable digits to the sky. The lonely beekeeper fucked by his own hive.

JONES FROM INDIANA

The "product" we refer to is well equipped in the service abilities of your common woman. Though in our opinion (and many others) we have manufactured her to be far superior to that of any "common" woman.
There are of course risks to be taken, though we rarely receive complaints from our clientele
(that unreadable fine print)
Defective product has been known to wreak havoc upon small villages and town folk.
(make that sweet green philosophical love)
Just sign here, initial here, then sign here, here, and here.
(Your signature waives responsibility from Jones Inc. We apologize for any inconvenience)
Twelve months later...
Client: She's falling apart and she’s killed my dog
Sales representative: (silence)
Client: You know that once she swam in beauty?
Sales representative: That's true
Client: Well, where did it go?

I SLEPT WITH THE DAUGHTERS AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY SONG WRITTEN ABOUT ME

Spread your thighs like a cancer let me see what's inside. Your pale body has that graveyard charm. Those desperate looks have got me diggin so deep. Bury my head the crown pushes please, please. She's the maid in the masquerade. I'm the employee asleep at the factory.

AND THEN THE C.H.U.D.S. CAME

If I cut off your arms and legs and wrap you in some fucked-up cocoon, would you still look at me and say
"you can't catch what you can't see"?
Well I caught you honey, like the clap sugar. What do you think of that?

MIKE MOROWITZ, THE FANTASY FUCK

Remember when we sold the horses their houses? We stole a million more.
Come back to where the thermostat is your best friend. Twelve hundred miles between here and there. Baby that's just too far.

NURSE, WOULD YOU PLEASE PREP THE PATIENT FOR SEXUAL DOCTOR

Five hundred milligrams of love has me in disarray
(the room whitens to the voice of panicked doctors)
get this man to the O.R
Stat: unconscious time lapse (the shades rise, call button by body side)
In the recovery room I wrote a list of all the ways that you are beautiful. It goes
on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WOOD, I’M NOT A CHEMIST

They shaved off fourteen points for ugly. They dumbed down the structure like some amputee. A broken bible salesman going door to door selling mouthfuls of shit. Flowers spread across his teeth. Bloody palms imprisoned in his slacks.
Shouting at size ten and a half feet
Remember when we were young?
(Ohh)
Well we're just like them now
(Ohh)
These choppers won't chew no more
(Ohh)
These knees won't bend no more
(Ohh)
This face can't sell the words for sure. There are a million other birds from sidewalk to ceiling to the cats who called the shots while I dipped in the finger tip sleep.

PANTS, MEET SHIT

Yeah the camouflage cross like a glistening member. Like sickly choir singing itself blue in the face. Grotesque and unflattering. It's an empty gesture, it's on its way to the big screen and it will be the biggest shit-storm this town has ever seen.

DAMN THOSE BLOOD SUCKERS AND THEIR GOOD QUALITIES

Break away from the regeneration process. For if one photo is before then the other must be after. So organize files and open windows. Because last summers plot will be this seasons destitution.

THE GHOST WITH THE MOST

We held down miles of my own vomit just to get my rocket in the pocket of every pretty lady in town (maybe no one hugged me enough as a child or maybe some one did too much). Complain to the scissors, bite the shirt sleeve. Let's see the look on your face when I make it work. If every woman was a continent, I would be Napoleon. Yeah, your body's the sea for me to navigate. I want to be the superb qualities to your three pronged fingertips.
I'll be the ashtray to love's unfiltered cigarettes. The K-9 nose in your crotch.
I want to watch you undress through the keyhole. You make me cum like never before. Blah blah blah blah.